Život v kocce

Dostal se mi do ruky přepis nařízení, které svým zaměstnancům sděluje tchajwanská firma ASUS v Ostravě... Působí to děsně vtipně a zároveň smutně, protože je to podle mého názoru jasný útok na samou podstatu našeho libozvučného jazyka :-) ....            01- words like "kurva, kokot, do pice"and other such expessions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.              02- you will not say "zkurvil" when someone makes a mistake, or " srali na mne" if you see someone being reprehended, or "hovno" when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb "srat" and "jebat" are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable and our environment.        03- no project manager, selection head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as " kurva sikmooka, kokot, buzerant or hajzl ".            04- lack of determination will not be referred to as "srac" or will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "chuj" !        05- unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as "kokotiny"          06- do not say "poser se" if somebody is persistent;do not add "vymrd", if colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say " dojebali jsme to"(refer to item 2) nor "na toto jebeme" when a matter becomes excessively complicated.        07- when asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say " jdi do pice" nor should you ever substitute "May i help you?" with, "co do pice chces?"            08-under no circumstances should you ever call you elderly industrial partners "zkurveny dodavatel".                09-do not say " jdete do pice s tou kokotinou" when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer " jsi se asi posral" when your assistance is required.              10- you should never call partner representatives as " jebnuty curak" or " zkurveny hajzl".                  11- last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say " polibte mi prdel !" just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.            Thank you !

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